Her Fault
by Venus Smurf
Summary: It was her fault...her fault that he'd failed her, her fault that he'd cheated...MinaXMal Will have happy ending!
1. Running

**A.N.: **Well, this started out as a one-shot, but when I hit the fourteenth page and realized that I wasn't even close to finishing, I decided to break it up. Right now, I'm thinking it'll be two parts—maybe three at the most. We'll see how long-winded I get!

Oh, and I do promise that this will have a happy ending...and that I'll explain everything eventually. Just stick with me, people.

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"Her Fault" 

By Venus Smurf

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"Her Fault: Part One"

It was her fault.

Her fault that he'd failed her, her fault that he'd cheated. She'd pushed him away, after all, kept too much of herself from him, and it didn't matter that she'd had a reason for it. It didn't matter that she hadn't had a choice. It was still her fault.

Not that she was going to forgive him for what he'd done, of course. She might have driven him away, lied to him more than he'd ever lied to her, but everything she'd done had been necessary. _He_ didn't have that excuse.

He didn't have _any_ excuse.

Mina sighed, wondering how he'd react when he realized that she'd left him. Would he be worried? Relieved?

Would he even care?

She didn't want to think about that.

She didn't want to think about anything, really. Anger had gotten her out the door and onto the plane, but anger can only last so long in the face of such betrayal. Mina had run out of hate hours ago, and even the hurt that had replaced it was gone. She was numb, and she thought that was probably best. It was easier not to feel anything, and she was tired of dwelling on the pain he caused her.

Mina sighed, her blue eyes unreadable as she stared out the window into the clouds. She'd be landing soon, and while she was grateful that she'd been able to get away before Mal had realized she was even leaving, she wasn't looking forward to telling Artemis why she'd had to go. Her foster father wouldn't understand, wouldn't, in all honesty, _try_ to understand. He'd only lecture her, tell her it was her own fault for choosing to be with Malachite in the first place, tell her she should have seen this coming…and then offer her a shoulder to cry on anyway.

She wouldn't cry, but right now, she could use the shoulder.

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"What do you mean, she isn't there?"

Raye's irritation was clear even over the phone. "Just what I said, you bloody idiot. _She's not here._"

He ignored her anger. She'd been furious with him since the day they'd met, and while he still didn't understand that, he'd long since stopped expecting anything else. "Do you know where she is, then? I've already called everyone she knows, but nobody has seen her since this morning."

Raye's voice was sharper than it should have been. "No," she bit out, "but even if I did know where she was, I wouldn't tell you."

Malachite rolled his eyes. _What the hell did I ever do to her, anyway? What did I ever do to _any_ of them? _He forced himself to remember that this was one of Mina's closest friends, that Raye was practically a sister to the crazy blonde who'd taken over both their lives. "If you do see Mina," he began again, trying to be patient, "will you tell her that I'm looking for her? She's not answering her cell."

The statement was met with a silence that lasted long enough to become uncomfortable. Then…

"_What did you do to her, Malachite?"_

The fury in her words was probably meant to be intimidating, but since every conversation with her both began and ended on a similar note, Mal wasn't really bothered by it. "I didn't _do _anything to her, Raye," he muttered. "Stop jumping to conclusions. I _love _her. Why would I hurt her?"

Raye just snorted.

Malachite pressed on, surprised that she'd let that one pass. She usually didn't. "I'm worried because she should have called me at least ten times by now," he quietly explained. "I need to know that she's safe."

She couldn't argue with that one. Mina was…an _affectionate_ girl, and she'd always had this inexplicable need to tell Mal that she loved him at least twenty times a day. If she'd been anyone else, and if he hadn't loved her to the point of distraction himself, it would have been annoying as hell. As it was…he missed it already.

Where was she?

Raye wasn't exactly sympathetic. "Maybe she finally came to her senses and left you. The gods only know how often we've told her to find someone better."

Malachite tried to ignore her. It wasn't the first time she'd said _that_, either, but the thought of Mina leaving him never failed to make his stomach clench. His tiny, insanely hyper lover had completely turned his life upside down from the moment they'd met, had destroyed the peace and quiet he'd once so valued, but the thought of a life without her…

It was unthinkable.

Malachite sighed yet again, his irritation with Raye abruptly fading. "I love her, Raye," he said again, defeat heavy in his voice. "I just need to know that she's safe. If you talk to her, will you have her call me?"

Silence again, but maybe the despair in his voice had finally reached her, because she actually answered. "Yes," she told him, her own voice so quiet as to be almost inaudible. "I'll tell her."

He almost thanked her. Was glad he hadn't when she spoke again.

"I'll tell her to call you," she repeated, her voice suddenly cold enough to be cruel, "but I won't tell her to come back to you. You don't deserve her."

He knew she was right, but Mina's friend didn't wait for him to acknowledge that; she simply disconnected, leaving Malachite listening to a dial tone that was only slightly less abrasive than Raye's voice.

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"So, what do you think?"

Mina smiled as she looked around Artemis' new London apartment, hearing the pride in his voice. "It's beautiful," she told him, and her smile _almost _reached her eyes.

And it was. The place couldn't compare to the apartment she'd just begun to share with Malachite, but in the years since Artemis had decided to take on a purely human form, he'd done well for himself. His home was nicely furnished, welcoming, warm…a little too cozy for her tastes, but to a man who'd spent most of this life as a cat, it probably seemed spacious.

He was right to be proud.

Mina's smile wasn't the only one that didn't reach the eyes. Artemis' lips were curved upwards, but his expression was far too serious as he watched her move about his small living room. "What happened, Mina?"

The question hurt. Hurt all the more because she didn't really have an answer. Oh, she knew _what_ had happened, why she'd left, but she didn't know _why _it had happened or what she was supposed to do now.

Years of practice kept both her expression and her voice even as she turned back to face her oldest friend. "Where are Luna and Diana?" she asked in return, hoping he'd take the hint and let the matter drop.

He didn't, of course. "Mina…"

She sighed, wondering why he had to be so stubborn as she forced a regretfully wry smile to her lips. "He cheated," she answered simply, the sudden harshness of her voice not matching the sad curve of her lips. "I left."

He stared at her, fury swiftly replacing the shock that had blossomed in his expression. "Malachite cheated on you?"

Mina shrugged. She knew he wanted details, answers…maybe even permission to go out and punish Malachite for this latest sin, but she had nothing to give him. She'd come here to escape her pain, not dwell on it, and she certainly wasn't going to help Artemis pass judgment on Malachite. Maybe Mal deserved it, but she only wanted to wash her hands of him, start over.

It was the only way she would keep her sanity.

And so she turned to Artemis, her blue eyes suddenly full of steel. "Yes," she said, her voice soft for all that the words were just as sharp as her gaze. "I don't want to talk about it, Art."

He was staring at her again, trying to measure her pain so he'd know how to help her. Mina knew he meant well, but she also knew that if she let him comfort her, she'd lose it. She had to hold the agony inside, lock it away almost as if it were something to be cherished and protected, or she wouldn't survive the heart-wound Malachite had dealt her.

And so she turned away, asked again after his wife and child, let him know with her words that there _weren't _words for this and that he shouldn't even try to find them. She could tell that he didn't agree, but she also knew he loved her too much to ignore the hint a second time.

He didn't. He simply sighed and admitted defeat, led her further into his home. He turned the conversation to other things, to his family and her flight and his latest novel, granted her the time she needed to heal on her own terms.

Mina didn't bother to tell him that while his efforts were appreciated, they were also wasted. She didn't feel the need to point out that the hurt ran too deep, that she'd never really recover from this and that time wouldn't help her any. She was just grateful that he wasn't pushing the issue.

That and she'd never been a big fan of stating what should have been obvious.

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Understanding came hours later, after he'd spent most of the day fruitlessly combing the city for Mina. Malachite had returned to their apartment, panicked and exhausted, worried almost to the point of insanity…and immediately had his panic increase a thousand times over as he walked through the door and realized that Mina's things were gone.

He froze, his entire body stiffening as the color drained from his face. He was finding it hard to think clearly through his fears, but a single thought still managed to survive the chaos that his mind had become.

_She must have seen…but it wasn't…_

_Oh, gods. _

Mina wasn't missing. She wasn't hurt or lost or even just unable to find her phone.

She'd_ left_ him.

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The postcard came two days later. Malachite, exhausted and pale from not sleeping or eating in all that time, could barely get his bloodshot eyes to focus on the words hurriedly scrawled across the back.

_I hope that kiss was worth it, Mal. _

And just like that, his world fell apart.

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Mina had never crashed on a friend's couch for three straight months before.

She hoped she would never have to do it again.

It wasn't that Artemis and Luna minded. As far as they were concerned, she could stay with them for the rest of their lives. It was almost like old times, they told her, and if it wasn't anything at all like old times and they weren't blind to the hurt behind Mina's smiles, the pretence helped. Mina knew that as long as she put enough of herself into making everyone else believe she was coping, as long as she kept them into from realizing she was dying inside, one day she'd be able to fool herself, as well. She'd forget that she was only pretending, and then she could move on with her life.

Maybe she'd even learn to laugh again.

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* * *

Another two months passed, and by then Artemis and Luna were no longer watching Mina quite so closely, no longer treating her as though she was fragile and would shatter at any moment. She _wasn't _fragile, hadn't ever been, but she also didn't think they'd realized it was already too late to save her from breaking.

Or maybe she wasn't as broken as _she'd _thought, because no matter how hard it was just to keep breathing, she was starting to have something resembling a life again. She'd gotten herself a job and an apartment close to Artemis, made new friends and found ways to occupy herself as the days stretched into weeks and the weeks became months. She knew it was something of an empty life, but while she hadn't quite stopped wondering if Malachite was now with that other girl or if he'd completely forgotten the blonde he'd once claimed to love, at least she'd gotten off Artemis' couch.

She'd really started to hate that couch.

Mina had even reconciled with the senshi. She'd let Artemis run interference for her for the first week or two, not wanting to deal with their anger or their judgments or, gods forbid, their _pity_, but Mina had known she couldn't shut them out forever. Nor had she wished to. Too much depended on the strength of her bond with them, and she'd waited only until she could keep her voice steady before she tried to explain why she'd fled.

They'd taken the news better than she'd expected. Perhaps Artemis had already told them some of it, but they'd only voiced their concerns for her, left the rest alone. They didn't even offer to hunt down Malachite for her, and while she'd never have let them, maybe this was their way of telling Mina that they still trusted her judgment.

They still asked her to come home, of course. Mina wasn't _needed_, exactly—they hadn't had a new enemy in years—but it was the first time the senshi had been apart since they were fourteen. It'd been hard enough when Luna and Artemis had decided to raise their daughter in a safer city than Tokyo, but letting their leader leave the country as well…

It was too much for them. They may not have needed Venus, but they _wanted _Mina, and they weren't willing to lose her, especially not over something Malachite had done.

Mina understood that, but she wasn't ready to return to Japan. Not yet.

She wasn't sure if she would ever be.

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* * *

Seven months.

Seven months of restless days and sleepless nights, and if Mina wasn't any more at peace than she'd been the day she'd left, her smiles were no longer quite so forced. She was taking a genuine interest in the world around her again, and it seemed only fitting that she celebrate by changing her mind and going home.

It was to be a short visit—a few days at the most, and since Mina didn't plan on leaving Raye's temple once there, the odds of running into Malachite were nonexistent. Mina would be safe from him, even assuming he still thought of her at all, and this visit might be just what she needed to regain the last of her shattered self.

And so Mina bid farewell to Artemis and boarded another plane, refused to think about Malachite through the long journey home. She didn't let herself dwell on her regrets or the might-have-been's, didn't let herself focus on anything but the friends so eagerly awaiting her return.

It was easier than she'd thought it would be.

The senshi met her at the airport, threw their arms around her and nearly smothered her with their welcome. Mina gave herself over to them, to their chatter and their warmth and their love, and she didn't even keep an eye out for Malachite as they left the airport and drove to Raye's temple.

Her first few hours home passed quickly. It _was _like old times with the senshi, and it helped that they were so careful to avoid any talk of Malachite. Her heart-sisters acted as if he'd never existed, as if she'd never left, and while Mina wasn't usually one to run from her problems, she was…relieved by that.

She should have known better than to think they'd judge her.

She should have known better than to leave them just because she'd been hurting.

She _really _should have known better than to love Malachite in the first place, especially when they'd warned her so often. _The next time I find myself falling for a reincarnated enemy, I'm definitely going to listen when literally everyone I know tells me it's a bad idea._

Mina slept better that night that she had since the day she'd found Malachite again, and the weight that was suddenly absent from her shoulders had her smiling in her sleep. She was still smiling as the morning sun woke her the next morning, as she groggily stumbled from Raye's guesthouse and out into the temple courtyard…

…as she nearly walked right into the reason she'd fled the country in the first place.

The smile died.

Malachite was waiting for her, his tall body propped almost casually against the outer wall of the guesthouse. His arms were at his sides, his face as empty as though they ran into each like this all the time, as though seven months' worth of grief hadn't stood between them. His eyes were locked on hers, his lips bent in the smallest of frowns.

Maybe Mina should have expected him, but of course she hadn't, and she stumbled back in her shock. Malachite instinctively reached out to her, but Mina's training kicked in and she spun away before his fingers could do more than graze the smooth skin of her arms. She danced out of his reach, steadied herself, finally accepted that her eyes weren't lying to her and that Malachite really was before her.

_The timing of this really sucks monkey butt._

She stared at him. He stared at her. Both of them were pale, and Mina forced herself not to search for any emotion in his hard face. She doubted that she'd find it—his expression was usually just as unreadable as her own—but she also knew it'd be much easier to keep her distance if she didn't suspect that he was hurting or angry or even indifferent.

Then again, just because she couldn't look for emotion in his face didn't mean she could look_ away_, either. That would have been cowardice, an admittance of weakness, if only to herself, and she wouldn't tolerate that. She'd already shown too much weakness over Malachite, and so she allowed her eyes to rake over him, her lips pursing in an effort to hold her own emotions inside.

He was still as beautiful as she remembered, but she thought that he'd lost weight. His once glorious tan had faded into nothing, and he looked…haggard, really. He seemed too thin, now, thin and silent and tired, though his silver eyes were burning as they stared back at her.

Mina didn't know what to say to him, didn't know how to act or what to think or feel. She'd spent so many months telling herself to forget him, telling herself it was better this way, but now that he was actually here…

She only felt…tired. Empty.

Maybe even a little lonely.

Mina bit her lip, her eyes suddenly becoming shuttered. _We never had a future, anyway, _the senshi in her whispered_. And I'll never have any peace until he realizes that._

Mina looked up at the man she'd always loved but had never thought to see again, and when the words finally came, they were almost child-like in their simplicity. "I left you," she said, no inflection at all in her voice.

His gaze was intense. "Yes."

No emotion in _his_ voice, either.

She continued to stare at him. "I don't want to talk to you."

"I know."

"I hate you."

She didn't, of course, but this wouldn't be the best time to admit she was lying.

He nodded coolly. "I'm aware of that."

It wasn't the way she'd pictured this conversation going—and yes, she _had _pictured it, even if she'd never really thought it would take place. Mina sighed, though she'd also schooled her features into a carefully neutral mask. The last thing she needed was to let him see how much she was hurting. "Why are you even here, then?"

Malachite was silent for so long that she started wondering if he'd ever answer. Then—

"I couldn't leave it like this, Mina," he finally confessed, his voice so quiet that she had to strain to hear him. "I know you hate me, but I needed…"

He cut himself off, and she fought the urge to wince. His expression was still as blank as ever, but there could be no mistaking the desperation in his voice.

If she hadn't been so tired of it all, she might have hated him for that. Where did he get off, letting her see how unhappy he was? Didn't he know this was already too hard for her?

Malachite didn't try to say anything more, but he was still staring at her, his mouth twisted in something too dark to even be considered a frown. She knew he was waiting for some kind of answer, but what could she say? She wasn't about to tell him that she still loved him, or that she'd forgiven him.

Even if she did. Even if she now realized she had.

Mina frowned. "You needed what, Mal? My forgiveness? To know that you didn't break me?" She shook her head, needing to fake only a little of the bitterness that suddenly crept into her words. "You didn't, you know. I won't pretend that it was easy, but I got over it." She deliberately paused, then added, "I got over _you_."

Something in Mal's face hardened even more, but Mina wasn't about to let him say anything. "Look," she sighed, pushing away the bitterness but not allowing her face to soften in the slightest. "If forgiveness is all you wanted, then you have it. I'll even wish you well with her…just don't ask for anything else from me, Mal. Don't ask me to listen to your excuses or your apologies. Don't ask me to give you another chance. I can't. I won't."

His face twisted with pure frustration. "Mina, can't you just—"

She held up a hand to stop him. "Don't bother, Mal," she said, interrupting when he tried to speak anyway. "Do you really think anything you say can make a difference at this point? We've been over for ages. It's done. Time to move on."

She'd kept as little emotion as possible in her voice, knowing it would hurt him more, knowing, also, that his pain would only make the separation easier for both of them. _Drive him away_, the senshi-within was whispering. _Drive him away before it's too late for both of us. _

_Yes, _the part of her that was not a senshi, the part of her that was simply a girl in love, murmured in silent agreement even as her heart constricted. _Drive him away while I'm still strong enough to let him go._

Mina brought her gaze back to Malachite's, only then realizing that she'd looked away in the first place. The senshi inside had taken control again, and her eyes were so completely blank that she might as well have been speaking with a stranger. "It's for the best," she added in a softer voice. "As different as we are…" She shook her head, allowed her lips to curve into a sad, slightly bitter smile. "Haven't you realized that we never stood a chance, anyway? Better that we break up now, when there's still time for us to find happiness with other people, then to stay together and probably end up hating each other in the end."

Mina hadn't missed the way Mal's face had tensed again when she'd mentioned finding happiness with other people, and if she'd thought his eyes had been burning when she'd first walked through the door…well, that was nothing to the intensity in them now. She, too, tensed, though her face remained as impassive as ever. She waited for him to speak, knowing this would be the moment when he either begged her to come back to him or told her he never wanted to see her again.

Mina still didn't know which she wanted most.

Malachite's voice, when he finally broke the silence that had stretched out between them once again, was so soft that she could barely hear him. "Is this what you really want, Mina?"

She blinked at him, genuinely surprised that his response was so…quiet, passive. "Yes," she answered just as softly, the surprise immediately pushed away so that it wouldn't show on her perfect features.

He stared at her for another moment, his silver eyes piercing and suddenly cold, and then, with an equally sharp nod, he abruptly turned and walked away.

Mina watched him go, wondering why it hurt so much that he never looked back.

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**Venus Smurf's Thoughts of the Day:**

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.


	2. Aftermath

**A.N.:**I was going to keep writing until Mina either met with Mal again or at least decided to go back to him, but it's going to take a little longer to get to that point, so I thought I'd just give you what I have. I hope all of you will forgive me for the lack of action and stick around for the third and final part…whenever I get around to finishing it, anyway.

Oh, and I also realize that this story isn't exactly humorous. If y'all want something that will make you laugh—at least a little—check out my original story, "I Blame the Llamas" on fictionpress. It's stupid, but…eh, it might be amusing.

And now I sound like I'm pimping my own story, so I'm gonna shut up.

My thanks to all who reviewed!

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PART TWO: Aftermath 

_Malachite's voice, when he finally broke the silence that had stretched out between them once again, was so soft that she could barely hear him. "Is this what you really want, Mina?"_

_She blinked at him, genuinely surprised that his response was so…quiet, passive. "Yes," she answered just as softly, the surprise immediately pushed away so that it wouldn't show on her perfect features. _

_He stared at her for another moment, his silver eyes piercing and suddenly cold, and then, with an equally sharp nod, he abruptly turned and walked away. _

_Mina watched him go, wondering why it hurt so much that he never looked back._

Mina's first impulse, once she was certain Malachite was gone, was to collapse against the wall, bury her face in her hands and burst into tears.

She didn't.

Her second impulse was to crawl back into bed, pull the covers tight around herself…and burst into tears.

She didn't do that, either.

Her _third _impulse, and the most tempting by far, was to hop on the first flight back to London, throw herself into Artemis' arms, and, of course, finally give vent to the emotions she'd locked inside herself for too long already.

Or at least go on a massive shopping spree.

Maybe both.

She didn't surrender to the impulse to go back to England, either, though she'd almost finished packing her bags before she came to her senses and realized what a mistake leaving would be. _I can't be a coward any longer_, she'd eventually decided. _What kind of leader would I be if I kept running from my problems? _

A poor one.

Worse, an _unworthy_ one.

_No,_ she'd thought as she unpacked for the second time in twenty-four hours, _I won't be running. If Malachite does come back, I'll just send him away again. He'll get the hint eventually._

Not that she really expected him to come back. Her lies hadn't been nearly as harsh as she might have made them, but they'd been cruel, and he'd be insane to still want her after all she'd said.

And of all the things Malachite had ever been in any lifetime, _insane_ had never been one of them.

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* * *

Mina never told the senshi that she'd seen Malachite. Speaking of their encounter would make her relive it, and when Malachite failed to make a second appearance, it just didn't seem necessary. She chose, instead, to force a smile on her face and dedicate all of herself to her sisters, to her time with them. 

This, too, was easier than she'd expected…at least until the letter came.

It arrived the morning of Mina's last day in Tokyo. The blonde had secluded herself in the guest room while she repacked, wanting a little time to compose herself before she bid another farewell to the senshi. She'd wanted to brace herself for their tears and their goodbyes, but she soon found that without the distraction the senshi had provided all week, her thoughts kept turning to Malachite instead. She couldn't focus on anything but him—his words, his actions, the emotions she'd tried not to see when they'd spoken the other day.

She should have been stronger than this.

Raye's soft knock on the bedroom door was a welcome interruption. Mina pasted a falsely bright smile on her face, moved swiftly to the door and slid it aside, her eyes genuinely curious as Raye immediately handed her an envelope. "This came for you," Raye quietly informed the blonde, her voice strangely subdued and almost…guilty?

Mina didn't get a chance to question her friend. The priestess left without another word, and Mina watched her go, eyes narrowing slightly as she glanced down at the envelope in her hands.

And then her heart clenched, the color draining from her face as she took in the familiar scrawl forming her name. _A letter, _Mina guessed, _but why would he…?_

She abruptly sighed, squashed the futile hope that rose in her in spite of herself and allowed a faint irritation to take its place instead. _What part of "Don't bother" did he not understand? And how did he get past Raye, in any case? _

She suddenly understood how Malachite had known to come to the temple that day. _Thrice-damned meddling priestess, _she thought, though even in her mind, the words held more confusion than rancor. _Why would Raye help Malachite, especially when hers was always the loudest voice raised against him?_

Mina briefly considered throwing the envelope away, but the more human part of her had always wanted answers, and it was hard to ignore that part when the answers were probably literally at her fingertips. And so, allowing herself to be weak one last time, Mina tore the envelope open, slowly pulled out the simple sheet of paper it had contained.

Her moment of weakness would cost her.

The letter was…devastating, for all that it didn't contain any of the things she might have expected—hoped for, in spite of herself. Not a word of apology, not an expression of regret, not a plea for her return or her forgiveness. Nothing but the explanation she'd told him she hadn't wanted.

The explanation was more than enough to break her all over again.

Because he hadn't cheated.

Her heart ached.

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* * *

Mina missed her flight. 

She wouldn't realize this until hours later, of course, though she admittedly hadn't cared when she finally did, either. What was the price of another plane ticket compared to everything else, after all? Mina had bigger things on her mind. Still, if the circumstances had been different, if she hadn't been so focused on the contents of Mal's letter, she might have been…amused by just how careful the senshi were to _not_ remind her that she was supposed to be halfway to London by then.

_Traitors, the lot of them. _

Not that Mina really gave the senshi a chance to speak to her of anything. She hadn't wanted their questions any more than she'd once wanted their pity, and she'd essentially barricaded herself into "her" bedroom the moment she'd realized what the letter contained. She'd ignored their tentative knocks, their whispered, worried questions. She'd ignored everything but the letter clutched so tightly in her shaking fingers.

It hurt, this knowledge that she'd walked away for a reason that hadn't existed—for she believed him, even if she couldn't have explained _why_ she did, even if it didn't change anything in the end.

Because she would have left him anyway.

Maybe it was even better this way, she decided as the hours continued to pass, as the sun set and the light eventually faded. As false as her reason for leaving had been, at least she'd _had_ a reason. She'd left Malachite with something to blame, and though he would never realize this, it'd been the one mercy she'd been able to grant.

It still hurt.

Mina sighed, staring down at the letter she'd long since memorized. "Better this way," she whispered.

_Better this way_, the senshi within agreed.

* * *

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* * *

By the time her warriors decided to simply break down the door, Mina had gotten herself back under control. She'd wiped the pain from her features, straightened her clothes and concealed her pallor beneath some hastily applied makeup. Only the weariness in her eyes betrayed the turmoil she was still feeling, though even that was mostly hidden. 

The door buckled and fell from its frame just as Mina was placing the last of her belongings in her suitcase. The blonde jumped, dropped the shirt she'd been folding, and turned to glare at the young women now stumbling over the wreckage. "Was that really necessary?" she demanded, one golden brow arching into her hairline as she stared at them. "You could have just knocked."

Concern had made Raye slightly more…irritated than she usually was. "We did," she snapped back, her glare considerably fiercer than Mina's. "You ignored us."

Mina deflated so suddenly that even she was surprised. _I stayed, _she thought tiredly, _but does it matter when I still shut them out? _Guilt danced briefly through her eyes. "Yes," she replied, her voice suddenly much softer. "I was…" She stopped, glanced up at them with a rather rueful smile. "I was hiding," she finally admitted. "It was easier."

The blonde didn't miss the quick, concerned glance Lita and Raye exchanged. _Traitors,_Mina thought again, this time with a sort of muted amusement. _How many of them are in on this?_

She didn't bother to confront them. "Did he ever tell you his side?" she asked instead, her expression turning wistful.

Lita took a step forward, a frown gathering in her eyes. "Mina…"

Mina only shook her head, held up a hand to stem Lita's words. "Really," she insisted, "it's all right." She forced herself to smile again, and if the smile wasn't genuine, she didn't think they'd call her on it. "It's obvious that you've been talking to him. How else would he have known to come that day?" She bit her lip, and while the smile hadn't lasted, she somehow managed to keep her expression relatively light. "I don't even mind," she continued gently. "I'm just wondering how he managed to win you over. You always hated him."

They winced, and she sighed again, knowing they were remembering all the times they'd fought over her relationship with Malachite. "I didn't mean it like that," she quickly muttered, hating what her relationship with _them_ had become. _More proof that I was right to end it, _she found herself thinking. _Nothing good came of my loving Malachite, and nothing ever will._

She blinked, pulled herself from her thoughts and slowly realized that they were all staring at her, guilt still lurking in their expressions. Mina stopped trying to smile. "What did he tell you?" she asked again, and while her voice remained quiet, they all knew she was no longer _asking_ for answers.

Once again, Raye spoke first. "Everything," she muttered. "He's been practically living here since you left, Meens, waiting for you to come back." She gave a sudden, self-depreciating shrug. "I stopped trying to kill him after the first few months, and eventually…I started listening instead." She, too, bit her lip, looked down at her feet in a moment of uncharacteristic hesitance. "He's broken without you, Mina."

For her own sake, Mina had to ignore that. She only nodded, retrieved the shirt and began refolding it. "Did you believe him?"

The question had been abrupt, but of course they'd all been expecting it, and Lita's answering nod was almost eager. "Not at first," she admitted for all of them. "It's too easy for us to assume the worst when it comes to Malachite, but…" She grimaced, and she might have stopped had Mina not been so obviously waiting for more. "We tracked her down," she bluntly continued. "The woman he'd kissed…who'd kissed him. She told us the same story, took the blame." She hesitated, then added, "She's married now."

Mina's face had gone distant, but she didn't ask for the woman's name, didn't ask how they'd known she wasn't lying. She simply sighed yet again, finished her packing and pulled the lid of her suitcase shut. "I'm going to try and catch the next flight out," she suddenly informed them. "It's going to cost me an arm and a leg, I know, but…"

She trailed off, but the sudden silence didn't last. The other senshi were staring at her, and this time, their eyes were incredulous.

"_What?_" Serena blurted, shock heavy in her voice. "You're still leaving?"

_No, I packed my suitcase for the fun of it. _Mina somehow managed to not roll her eyes, instead slid her luggage across the bed and onto the floor. She bent, busied herself with the straps and locks, finally straightened and met their eyes with open reluctance clear in her own. She didn't bother to answer.

Raye took a step towards Mina, her face intense enough to surprise even her blonde leader.

_Is Raye…angry? Angry because I finally listened to her?_

_Now_ that_ is irony._

The priestess' hands were clenching into fists, and of course she was glaring. "That's it?" she snapped. "You're just going to go back to London, pretend none of this ever happened?"

Mina crossed her arms over her chest, no longer trying to hide her surprise. "What else did you think I'd do?" she asked, genuine curiosity coloring her words. "You do realize that this doesn't change anything, right? So he didn't cheat—I would have left him eventually anyway."

Serena's face had gone pale, though Mina could see the confusion still in those blue eyes. "_Why?_Is it because we gave you such a hard time before?"

Mina almost smiled at that, because while not all of the senshi had been as…_vocal_as Raye, Serena had been the only one who hadn't fought against Mina's relationship with Malachite. She'd supported her cousin, swallowed her own doubts and given encouragement when the others were at their worst.

And it was just like her to include herself in blame she didn't deserve. _This,_Mina thought absently, _is why I follow her. _

They were all waiting for an answer, and the blonde warrior sighed, wondering if there was any way she could get out of this explanation. It'd been difficult enough to accept it herself, especially when she'd fought so hard for him, and she still didn't know if she could voice it to others. "Do you remember," she finally asked, "what you told me when I first found him again?"

She hadn't needed to ask, probably shouldn't have. None of them could ever forget just how dark those days had been, or how close they'd come to destroying a bond they'd all thought was unbreakable.

And none of them could forget the horrible things they'd said, the predictions and accusations they'd made.

Mina's lips curved in a slightly bitter smile as she realized the senshi weren't going to reply. "You told me," she answered for them, her voice free of condemnation but not of guilt, "that if I let him in my life, he'd be the end of me. You told me that no matter how much I thought I loved him, we'd be unhappy because I'd always be waiting for him to betray me again, and because I could never trust him enough to tell him who I was." She shook her head, her eyes becoming almost blank. "You were right," she continued softly. "I knew you were, but I convinced myself that as long as I loved him enough, it wouldn't matter."

She sighed, briefly closed her eyes. "You were right," she said again, her words heavy even in her own ears, "because in the end, I could only give him the human part of myself, and how could that be enough when I've never really been human at all? I was always hiding my thoughts, lying to him, then lying again by pretending that everything was fine between us." Her sudden laugh was a little too bitter. "What chance did we really have, when I had to keep him at a distance? I tried to love him, but love can't exist without trust, and I just ended up hurting us both."

She glanced up at them, noting how pale they'd become, seeing the unshed tears in their eyes. They were grieving for her, she realized, and while she was touched by the love they clearly felt for her, it was only another source of pain. She'd never wanted sympathy, especially over something that was really her own fault. She didn't deserve it. "I'm sorry," she told them, her own eyes shadowed even as she drew a mask of flawless composure back over her features. "Maybe if I'd listened to you, I could have prevented all of this. As it is…I'm sorry for what I put you through."

She turned, picked up the jacket and purse she'd thrown onto the bed earlier and then bent and grasped the handle of her suitcase. "I have to go," she informed them, still quietly, and they all knew she wasn't just talking about catching her flight. "I'll call you when…I'll call you."

She slipped away without another word, and this time, they didn't try to stop her.

* * *

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* * *

**Venus Smurf's Quotes of the Day:**

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* * *

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down an open sewer and die. 

Even if you fall flat on your face, at least you are moving forward!

The difference between Aussies, Brits, Canadians, and Americans:

Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."

Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."

Canadians: Spell like Brits, pronounce like Americans.

Aussies: Add "G'day," "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get laid.

Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.

Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.


End file.
